Intelligender Provokes Not-so-Intelligent Ire

Like any pregnant woman, even one who has no plans of confirming via ultrasound what gender my fetus actually is, I love entertaining myself with the old wives' tales. I did the Chinese Gender Prediction chart — got both results, depending on which website was used. I did various online tests, which analyzed whether I only will eat the heel of bread or refuse it altogether [uh.. neither. Who cares that much??] or whether I liked orange juice or sweets vs. sour, where I'm allegedly carrying, etc… These, too, came back with mixed results. So while at the grocery store one day in my first trimester, I gave into temptation and plunked down $25 for an Intelligender Gender Prediction Test Kit.

I have no more faith in the Intelligender test than I do my wedding ring hanging from a string of my hair turning circles or going back and forth in a straight line [for the record, it did both]. I took the test solely for fun. In fact, despite its false claims of accuracy, it even says right on the box and in the instructions “for entertainment purposes only.” Let's face it, there are only two options for a single baby: you're either having a boy or a girl. That's it [okay, okay, in some extremely rare cases, you get the kid who has both]. You could have the same “accuracy” as Intelligender as you would flipping a coin. Therefore, anyone who puts all of their faith into this thing is just wasting their time. The only mostly accurate way of telling your baby's gender before birth is via ultrasound — and even those aren't 100% accurate [just ask my friend who was told “girl” at two different ultrasounds, who ended up returning all of the pink baby gear she was given after her little “girl” was born with a penis]. So, outside of an ultrasound, seems like any rational person would take it all with a grain of salt, right?

Wrong.

If you read the reviews on Amazon.com, people are irate about the fact that the test incorrectly predicted one gender (usually a boy) while their bouncing bundle of joy was another. C'mon people. What did you really expect? Did you think that peeing into a little cup would seriously predict the gender of your child to the same extent and accuracy as an ultrasound? And can you really be that angry if the result comes up “boy” most of the time, even for women who aren't even pregnant? Apparently, yes, yes they can.

There are people like “tielde,” who writes in her one-star review: “I took one of these and it said it was a girl … confirmation by 4 doctors – im high risk is a boy!! [sic] waste of money” and “crystal 'mommathaboss'”: “i used the test n its not accurate at all.. im havin a girl n it said boy..i did it the right way n still the wrong result…waste of my money for sure… [sic x 100]”. One one-star reviewer even stated that the “product should have some sort of disclaimer, or provide information on the test's accuracy so that shoppers can make a more informed decision on whether or not to buy this product.” Oh! You mean like the one on the back of the box and in the instructions that says, “For entertainment purposes only”?? Yeah, they really need to make that more clear.

It's not just the one-star reviews that have taken this too seriously. There are several people who stated that since it was right for them, it was a fantastic product, it is totally accurate, and they'll use it for every pregnancy. One lady even went so far as to warn everyone that their false “boy” results were probably because they had sex within 48 hours of taking the test. Oh, I see… That's what went wrong.

Sigh…

This is an entertainment product. It should be used for entertainment purposes only. The reviews should be more about whether or not you had fun doing it. Personally, I had three-star fun — fun and funny, but not exactly the highlight of my day. It told me I was having a boy, and to this day, I have no freaking idea (probably not, though). We'll know next month. Even if it turns out Pop Culture Baby is a boy, that won't change my fun from a three-star, “it was totally cute playing around and seeing what it said” into a five-star “OMG! This is awesome! Why ever wait for an ultrasound when you can just pee in a cup at home??” review. Likewise, if Pop Culture Baby is a girl, I'm not going to be so flaming mad that I have to write a one-star “OMG! Why do they even sell this on the market? It totally doesn't work!” review. It's all fun and games — just like the Chinese Gender Prediction Tests that were all totally different. Any other reaction is, IMO, too much.

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“Why's everybody so mad at me??”

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