Why I’m Now (Probably) an Ulta Customer for Life

When you’re a woman of color, particular if your skin tone skews more brown than beige, shopping for makeup is exhausting, frustrating, and sometimes even humiliating. Even though it is 2015, many makeup companies haven’t attempted to make many shades for us darker ladies. Even those that make darker shades make far less of those hues than they do beige, and they often get the undertones completely wrong. Many beige women of color aren’t completely exempt from the awful makeup-buying experience either. The problem here is, again, undertones. Well, really, the problem is bias.

Just a typical day of buying makeup for women of color. Let's see... there's super light beige, kinda light beige, and beige. Um... is this what passes for diversity these days?

Just a typical day of buying makeup for women of color. Let’s see… there’s super light beige, kinda light beige, and beige. Um… is this what passes for diversity these days?

This isn’t a new problem, really. Ask any brown woman about her experiences with buying makeup or using makeup artists, and you’re bound to get an earful.

Enter Nykhor Paul. She’s a South Sudanese model, and she’s gorg. She’s also dark-skinned. On Monday, she posted this (much warranted) rant on Instagram:

Dear white people in the fashion world! Please don’t take this the wrong way but it’s time you people get your shit right when it comes to our complexion! Why do I have to bring my own makeup to a professional show when all the other white girls don’t have to do anything but show up wtf! Don’t try to make me feel bad because I am blue black its 2015 go to Mac, Bobbi Brown, Makeup forever, Iman cosmetic, black opal, even Lancôme and Clinique carried them plus so much more. there’s so much options our there for dark skin tones today. A good makeup artist would come prepare and do there research before coming to work because often time you know what to expect especially at a show! Stop apologizing it’s insulting and disrespectful to me and my race it doesn’t help, seriously! Make an effort at least! That goes for NYC, London, Milan, Paris and Cape Town plus everywhere else that have issues with black skin tones. Just because you only book a few of us doesn’t mean you have the right to make us look ratchet. I’m tired of complaining about not getting book as a black model and I’m definitely super tired of apologizing for my blackness!!!! Fashion is art, art is never racist it should be inclusive of all not only white people, shit we started fashion in Africa and you modernize and copy it! Why can’t we be part of fashion fully and equally?

A photo posted by nykhor (@nykhor) on Jul 6, 2015 at 9:55am PDT

Her message resonated very deeply with women of color, famous and not so famous alike. My pal from law school, Robinne Lee, expressed similar sentiments on her Facebook page about her frustration of dealing with on-set makeup artists who are not prepared for women of color:

I never ever show up on a set without my own foundation and powder. Never ever. I’ve been in this business for twenty years and you only need a couple of bad experiences to learn a lesson…” (reprinted with permission from Robinne Lee) 

All over Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, black women, celebrities and non-celebrities alike shared stories of makeup artists, hairstylists, and stores that treated our blackness—our black hair, our black skin—as an inconvenience. Like nearly every other brown woman of color in this country, I have been there before. This May, when I was browsing through Ulta, looking at aisle after aisle of “30 shades of beige and two of brown, but not YOUR brown” and “our colors only come in light, light/medium, and medium. ‘MURICA!”, the frustration was just too much for me. I tweeted the following, not really expecting anything to come of it [because nothing ever does]:

So imagine my surprise when Ulta actually responded:

So, I took this open invitation, and I ran with it. Below is the part of the very long e-mail I fired off to Ulta the next day:

In response to your request to me on Twitter …, here is the recurring problem I have in Ulta’s stores … :
As is evident by my signature line, I am a woman of color. Now, it’s hard enough being a woman of color and trying to find makeup. Most brands, unless they are minority-owned, simply just don’t make enough colors for women of color. So I’m not going to fault Ulta for not carrying more colors if the brand itself doesn’t carry them. However, if a brand carries a more diverse line of makeup, I would expect that your stores—particularly those in diverse neighborhoods—would. I can’t tell you the exact demographics for … However, just looking at the schools zoned in the areas near this particular Ulta, this neighborhood is about 40% non-white. Looking around, I can tell you that there is a heavy population of black, Hispanic, Indian, Vietnamese, and Filipino. Although there are huge variations of colors within those communities, we tend to have a lot of tan-to-brown people. So I would expect that for brands that actually carry makeup in brownish colors, Ulta in our neighborhood would have them.
No, it doesn’t. I have requested several times. I have been in the store when other customers have requested more colors (and have been told, sometimes mistakenly, that the brand doesn’t carry them. I’ve looked online, this isn’t true). I’ve even had people who work in the store complain to me that they can’t find colors for themselves either. So, obviously, this is either a management or corporate problem. And, from what I can see on Ulta.com, this is a corporate problem.
Yesterday I was looking for Dermablend. From their color match system, I know that my concealer color is Cocoa. Looking at Ulta.com, “Cedar” and “Cocoa” (the only two brown concealers) are listed as “online only,” which means none of your stores will carry this. Similarly, every brown color of Dermablend’s Cover Creme except for the very darkest brown, which is a good 8 shades or so darker than the darkest beige you carry (which means you’ve missed pretty much every tan or brown woman who isn’t extremely dark with red undertones—a description which actually matches exactly no one I know), is listed as online only. I looked for the color of Smashbox Photo Filter Powder Foundation that matches my tone per Smashbox’s website. That, too, was available online only. You used to carry Iman (a brand for women of color) in stores. Now it’s online only. The Smashbox Try It Kit: BB+Halo comes in a “Dark” variety, and Ulta doesn’t even bother to carry that one online (but Birchbox does, and so does Amazon.com…).
Basically, everywhere I look in the Ultaverse for colors that might fit me, Ulta has deemed that these colors are “online only” and not fit for store shelves—if it carries them at all. While I love very much to shop online, the one thing I loathe buying online unless I absolutely have to is makeup (foundation and powder, at least). This is for obvious reasons. I mean, how do I know that a foundation or powder is going to actually work for my skin without trying it on? Is it really necessary to have space for 25 shades of beige but only 1 shade of brown (if any)? This is ridiculous and biased. It’s also demoralizing. …. I shouldn’t feel like a second-class citizen when simply trying to buy powder foundation.
I’m sure your response will be that these colors just don’t sell and that’s why you can’t stock them in store, but how could they if, based on experience, women of color don’t actually expect to find colors in your store? Honestly, I didn’t even go looking for foundation/powder yesterday …, since every time has been a disappointment. But I looked anyway, and, as expected, I was disappointed.
You may not realize this, but blacks have the most purchasing power of any single ethnic group in the United States. Combine us with Hispanics, Indians, and certain Eastern and Southeastern Asian groups, and are you really prepared to say that our purchasing power isn’t worth a little bit of effort to make some room on your physical shelves to make our shopping experience more pleasant? I really like Ulta’s branded products, but I can’t continue this game of purchasing in store and then having to go home to complete my makeup purchases online. And I know a lot of other women who feel the same way.
In closing, I would like to add, I would greatly appreciate it if you took the time to give me a thoughtfully crafted response rather than a canned “Thanks for your input. We’re looking into it.” In addition to it being insulting to the intelligence, the fact is, you guys reached out to me after my small 140-character rant on Twitter. I obviously took the time to send you a detailed response of the problem, and I would appreciate some reciprocity.
Regards, [Pop Culture Mom]

Honestly, I really expected that all I might get out of this very long, soul-bearing e-mail was a bit of catharsis. So imagine my surprise when the next day, I received a voicemail from the Ulta corporate office.

Now, my phone number was never on the e-mail. However, I’m an Ulta rewards member (and, despite my difficulty finding makeup in-store, a platinum one at that), and the Ulta Guest Services Manager [shout out to Ron!] was able to get my phone number and purchase history from my account. The message let me know that my e-mail had been received and was being taken very seriously and let me know that I could expect a response after the Memorial Day holiday. I was also given a direct phone number in case I wanted to talk before I had gotten a complete response.

After the holiday, Ron and I touched base to schedule a call to discuss his findings in more detail. Honestly, even though Ulta corporate had reached out to me and was clearly making a concerted effort to keep the lines of communication open, I was not expecting much to come from the call. So when Ron started out by telling me that the various corporate heads he had spoken with to inquire as to why there weren’t many products available in store for women of color had responded that they also didn’t understand why that was the case in this day and age and saw it as a problem, I was shocked. But then when the blame shifted to the corporations manufacturing the makeup, my shock waned, and I expected another conversation reciting business as usual. But I shouldn’t have, because Ron continued to surprise me.

Among other things, Ron explained to me that Ulta’s old corporate model could not allow for stores to be diversified, and the result was that every single Ulta store carried what was basically the national average in terms of sales. So the Ulta store in, for example, Sandy, Utah carries exactly the same merchandise as the store in Atlanta, Georgia, even though the demographics of those cities are vastly different [Sandy, Utah is, by the way, 86% non-Hispanic white per Census data; Atlanta, on the other hand, is 36.3% non-Hispanic white and 54% black]. And because this nationwide data is collected based on a country where the vast majority of people are white and where non-white people (particularly those that are either darker than “honey beige” or don’t have pink or blue undertones) don’t actually expect for most cosmetic stores to service them, you can pretty much guess which way the data skews. [And, unless you’re bathing in a sea of privilege, you can also see where the problem lies.] But Ulta is now in a position where it can customize its offerings by region. So in areas like mine where dark people of various ethnicities abound, come early 2016, we should expect to see more of our hues offered not just “online” but also in-store.

Ron also informed me that this “bigger and better” Ulta extends not only to their technology and inventory tracking but also to their ability to court more diverse brands and put some pressure on those brands who haven’t caught up with the times to join the rest of us in the ultra-diverse 21st century. That pressure has apparently worked on some brands, and a few are now expanding their offerings to add several new shades. There were more details, more happiness to share about Ulta’s coming changes to accommodate its customers of color. But the bottom line is that Ulta isn’t just giving lip service; it clearly cares about customer satisfaction—all customers, not just the beige and pink-undertones ones. And as if all of these changes and all of this time spent meaningfully addressing my concerns wasn’t enough, Ron also arranged for the Prestige Manager [since my purchase history is primarily of those cosmetics they consider their “Prestige brands”] at my local Ulta store to meet with me one on one and introduce me to some of their newer lines and colors that might work for me better. The P.M. totally hooked me up, and I have found a new foundation to love. Her name is Becca (one of Ulta’s newer offerings), and, miracle of miracles, there are several shades of brown with various undertones available.

The sad fact is, beauty woes are just one source of the microagressions that daily confront people of color with white privilege in this country. It may not seem like a privilege to buy makeup, but when you’re a person of color denied the simplicity of that experience that others feel, it is evidence what a loss of privilege it is for makeup purchases to become an ordeal. For anyone who would respond, “Well, then don’t buy makeup” (ignoring the flippancy and ignorance of such a comment), the simple fact of the matter is that for many women, buying makeup isn’t really an option. Yes, it would be great if we lived in a perfect world where sexism didn’t make work life easier for women who wear at least natural looking makeup or if women were imbued with so much self-confidence that we didn’t feel the need to wear makeup ever. But this isn’t reality. Additionally, when we live in a world where models and actresses of color feel compelled to bring their own makeup kits to their jobs—a job necessity that is automatically provided for their paler skinned counterparts—or otherwise risk re-inviting the feelings of despair and embarrassment experienced after someone has half-heartedly attempted to do their hair or makeup without putting in any real effort to account for different skin tones or hair textures. It is absolutely galling that someone would think this is equal, fair, or trivial.

This world is diverse. This country is diverse. On most continents on this planet, you can find people ranging from the palest of pale beiges to the darkest of dark browns. There are many different hair types and shades. It shouldn’t be asking too much for professionals be able to do their jobs for every person who might sit in their chairs, and not just the white ones. And it isn’t “baiting” to require that stores selling beauty products be able to service the clientele present in the areas where they chose to setup shop.

Note: Ulta did not ask me to write this post, nor is this an advertisement for Ulta. However, I’d be lying if I said that, given their stated commitment to improve diversity, I’m not interested in ringing the bells and sounding the alarms that Ulta is a store women of color need to add to their rotation. I will always be of the firm belief that the same way we should buycott those brands who have absolutely zero interest in tolerance and diversity [I’m looking at you, Almay, Simply Aryan], we should similarly reward those who do.

I am SO not the Early Adopter Type (Anymore)

I used to be the ultimate techno geek. If I didn’t buy a product first, I darn sure knew about it before anyone in my circle. And then… life happened (I got one, I guess?). Kids happened. And then iPhone happened. 

I was told very early in my Apple indoctrination induction to never buy the first generation of Apple anything; always give it a couple of months for them to fix the bugs. Every iPhone and iOS release has proven why this rule exists. Apple gets a little twitchy with the releases. Things slip through the cracks—major things (Apple Maps, anyone??). 

And iPhones are expensive, yo. When you have two kids and a whole grownup existence to support, $400 every year [which, really, is a conservative estimate, because if you’re buying a new phone every year, you’re paying full price, so it’s more like $800 every year] for a phone seems a little crazy unless you just have money to burn. 

So once I switched from a non-Apple existence, I never again felt the need to be the first to have something new. Good thing, too, because I’m not the type to camp out for anything, let alone a phone.

I held on to my 3S until the iOS upgrades became unsupportable. Even then, I didn’t switch to a 4 until I switched cell phone providers and didn’t have a choice (3S wasn’t an option). I didn’t switch to a 4S until my trust old 4 flew out of my hands on an escalator and landed two stories below me, face down. That also wasn’t my choice. Some 17-year old “Genius” forced me into it after he sarcastically informed me that they didn’t even carry refurbished 4s anymore, so I was going to have to take a 4S. I skipped the 5, the 5S, and the 5C. 

In fact, the main reason I decided to buy a 6 is because my trusty old 4S wasn’t so trusty anymore. Somewhere around iOS 7.0.whatever, it decided that it would be fun to freeze crash every hour or so. And then that hour became 30 minutes. Then 10. This should have turned me off Apple completely. Instead, it made me crave a new phone. 

Indoctrination. Complete. 

Even with my constantly crashing phone, I didn’t camp out or pre-order an iPhone 6. I (semi-)patiently waited a couple of weeks until Verizon gave me those magic words, “Eligible for an Upgrade.” I waited another week or so for the phone to come off backorder and ship (two weeks earlier than projected). 

And now I have my phone. And I love it. But I also remember another reason I don’t like iPhones within the first couple of months of release. 


This baby needs protecting. And, so far, the contenders aren’t cutting it.
If that “phone flying off an escalator” reference wasn’t a hint to you, I’m kind of a klutz. Yes, I may be only on my fourth or fifth model of an iPhone, but this is easily my 20th iPhone. I’m not really sure how long my record is for keeping an iPhone without submerging it, breaking it, or having my screen shatter to bits; but I know that record is held by my last phone, which was lovingly protected by a Lifeproof case [suggested by the “Genius” who was no doubt looking at my replacement history when he made the suggestion]. My other phones weren’t case-less; their cases simply failed them. Miserably. 

And here I am with a brand new phone, and Lifeproof can’t even give me an estimate of when is making me wait another month before I can breathe a sigh of relief. There’s not even a waiting list; just a “leave your email address here if you want us to notify you when we are close to maybe someday in the near future releasing a case.” Sigh. 

I have had my new phone for one week, and I have tried out three cases. Three. All bought after hours and hours of wasting time I don’t have research. 

I hate them all. And I hate every stupid blog, article, or Amazon reviewer that led me to them.

There isn’t a single one of these cases that gives me the confidence that if I drop my phone while exiting the car, my phone will survive the concrete. I have already dropped my phone four times (FOUR) and consider myself lucky that each drop has been on laminate rather than tile or pavement. 

I’m a nervous wreck. I’m on edge. Even Pop Culture Dad has said, while staring down Case #1, “That thing will be broken by end of the month.” And he’s probably right. 

There is no room for error here. If this phone breaks, I’m looking at the end of a wait list to get a replacement. And then there’s *gulp* the money. 

Hmm… Maybe I should just get a Jitterbug?

Case #3: Pretty and pretty pointless. No screen protection whatsoever. And it doubled the weight of my phone. Doubled. Yeah… That’s not going to make me drop it faster. 

Case #2: I don’t even know WTF this is. It’s practically paper. 

Case #2: Sadly, I probably never should have abandoned my first “love” [okay, not really. Not fan-girling this one either]. It also lacks screen protection, but at least it was solid, leather, and weighs nothing.

Originally posted on Blogger (http:/www.popculturemom.com) http://ift.tt/1vi3z6e

How Complete Strangers Reacted When My Toddler Acted out in Public (You Might be Surprised!)

This afternoon, Super Girl had an epic tantrum in the checkout line at the craft store. I got to the register and let the checkout girl know I had to put something back while she was ringing up. I then returned every craft SG had picked out. While she kept screaming over and over, “I want it!” with tears running down her face, I explained to her (over and over, it seemed) that the deal was she would get treats if she was good in the store. Throwing a temper tantrum is exactly one of the behaviors I told my girls would forfeit their goodies. 

Just when I was starting to feel like a failure, standing there at the cash register with this two-year old screaming at the top of the lungs, three women came up to me and told me “Good job!” for sticking to my guns and not rewarding bad behavior. Instantly, I felt better. 

It’s easy to feel like a meanie or a bad mom when your kid melts down in public. The things is, though, eventually every kid will melt down [first person to tell me her kid has never melted down gets punched in the face]. And, though I might feel mean in the minute, rewarding my (then-)behaved child with crafts while the other looks on on jealousy, I just have to keep reminding myself that my “meanness” is toward a greater good—raising a child/tween/teen/adult who is not an ungrateful, spoiled asshole. 

I am so thankful for those ladies today who gave me reinforcement and reminded me that I was doing the right thing. And it also served as a good reminder to me that the next time I see a mom struggling but doing the right thing, to pay it forward by patting her on the back—whether I do that literally (as the first “Good job, Mom!” woman did to me today) or verbally. Because sometimes all you need is validation. 

Gee… Who woulda thought that this kid would act out? /s/

And I Shall Buy a Thousand Swiffers!

Have you seen the new Swiffer commercial?? The one with Zack Rukavina,the guy who lost his arm to cancer, and his beautiful multiracial family?? I almost cried tears of joy when I saw it this morning. We already have a Swiffer mop, but we will never buy generic refills again. More money to Swiffer and its wonderful ad team!!

The Birth of a Playroom

Once upon a time, Pop Culture Dad and I had a formal study. It was a beautiful and rich red, drybrush-painted by yours truly. It was such a fantastic room that it housed many of our family pictures. Actually, that’s pretty much all it did unless we were throwing a party.
Ah… Sigh… So adult…
Two of many family pictures taken in this room
Then one day… I got tired—not of the room, mind you—of picking my kids’ toys up from the living room floor and dragging them upstairs to the playroom. Suddenly, I had an idea: Wouldn’t it be awesome if we had a playroom downstairs?? Granted, this wasn’t an earth-shattering idea, but, still, it took me four and a half years to figure that out.
So one day when I was home alone, I moved most of the study furniture upstairs to the play area and moved all the toys downstairs to the former study. But something still wasn’t right… So I decided to give my kids a magnetic chalkboard.
They love it!!
But me being me [an ADD mind at rest can be a very dangerous thing], the chalkboard wasn’t enough… So I decided to paint a meadow on the back wall and a beach on the front. 
And that still wasn’t enough, so I decided to… well… see for yourself:
Yes, that’s brick (well, Flexi-Brick). And, yes, I did that ♬♪♩ all by myseeeeelf ♩♪♬ (as is kind of apparent from the workmanship, ha ha)

And somehow, the murals, the magnetic chalkboard, and the awesome brick were just not enough for me. So Pop Culture Dad and I enlisted the help of a couple of my uncles, who do a lot of construction work. We had them add a wall and French doors to the previously open room, along with some molding. Once we had a brand-spanking new wall, I connected the meadow and the beach. We’ve added some furniture (comfortable seating for adults, a thick rug from Home Goods, the train table Super Girl got for her second birthday, and toys, toys, and more toys). 
An earlier stage of “completion”

“Where did that come from??” (Little Diva on the morning of her 2nd birthday)

Now that we have less (okay, NO) adult parties and more (alright, ALL) kiddie-friendly ones, this downstairs room really comes in handy!

partygoers in “Marina’s Makeover Salon” at Little Diva’s Fresh Beat Band-themed 5th birthday party

This transformation took me quite a bit of time. I started in late March and have been slowly making changes whenever I could find the time. I did all of the painting and bricking myself. Most of the decals and stickers (the Disney Fairies, the flowers, the little girls, and the owl) were done by the Pop Culture Girls [and by “done,” I of course mean they fought over them, ripped them, put them in hopelessly illogical places, and then eventually asked me for help putting them somewhere normal].

You’ll also notice that I am readily sharing pictures of a non-tidy playroom. It is a playroom. Yes, the Pop Culture Girls are required to put their toys away (to the best of their two- and five-year old abilities). Yes, the adults come in later and really clean the room (not every day, geez!). But this is the room in its natural and intended state. The whole purpose of this room was to keep these toys out of my living room. While that goal has not been met 100% (and I have the Lego-related foot injuries to prove it), the situation has improved 1000%. Not to mention, this room has become a pretty amazing conversation piece whenever someone enters our house for the first time (or the first time in forever).

To recap…

Well… We Weren’t Expecting THAT

When I decided to convert Super Girl’s room from Care Bears to owls and giraffes a few months ago, I started snatching up every cute thing I could find that fit the theme and already existing colors. One of the first things I found was this adorable picture from Home Goods:

As you can see, the first owl’s wings are made from pages of a book. I never gave it much thought. I never even really looked at the words to see what they said. I pretty much only focused on the owls.
Tonight, Pop Culture Dad paid attention for the first time… and he was a little concerned. “Honey? Do you know what book that is? Is it a kid’s book? I just noticed it has the word ‘killed’.” I told him I hadn’t really given it a thought, but I was going to guess it wasn’t a kid’s book. I had bought the picture in the kids’ section, but that didn’t really mean anything.
So I turned to my knowledgeable friend Google. Turns out I was right. It wasn’t a kid’s book at all….
But we weren’t quite expecting this:

A Brief Word About the Rock N’ Play Recall

Inline image 1

As you may or may not have heard by now, The Fisher-Price Rock N' Play sleeper was recalled for mold exposure issues.

Now, before you start freaking out that those evil people at Fisher-Price were selling a baby product containing mold or oddly designed to allow mold. No, they didn't. Yes, Fisher-Price received 600 reports of mold. Yes, sixteen babies were treated for respiratory issues, coughs and hives after sleeping in the product–all of which is very unfortunate. But you know what? None of this is Fisher-Price's fault, and I am quite frankly surprised there was a recall because of this issue.

How in the world do you as a parent put your newborn child in a product on a daily basis and never think once that maybe just maybe it needs to be cleaned frequently? I mean… c'mon. This product is cloth and foam. Babies drool. They sweat. They pee. They poop. Everywhere–and most certainly any place you have them lying for long periods of time.

Look, I get it. You're busy with your newborn and you're really tired. Some of you brand-new mothers may not even have taken a shower for a week. But this is your newborn baby we're talking about. Why aren't you making sure the environment in which you plan to have your brand-spanking new infant sleeping is clean at… oh… I don't know… all times? If your sleeper gets wet, whether by spills or baby's bodily fluids, clean and dry it. If you've been using it every day for a few days… Um… how about… maybe… I dunno?… clean and dry it?

These really aren't hard concepts. If all those words up there are just too much, let's make it really simple:

cloth and/or foam + moisture + lack of drying and/or cleaning = mold

This equation is true whether you're talking about the Rock N' Play sleeper or towels or… well… anything.

The fabric of the Rock N' Play is removable from the frame for a reason. So you can wash it. Heck, it even says on the instructions to wash before use. I guess they should have also added, “And whenever it gets dirty or wet. Hello?!”?

There is honestly no reason why this recall should have happened [much like the Bumbo recall, because it didn't occur to some parents that infant seat without straps + high locations such as a table for cripes' sakes = falls]. That was really sweet of Fisher-Price to coddle the parents who never think to clean their baby gear, and it's really cute that they even issued instructions on how to clean the product to get rid of mold. But, c'mon now. How can people even try to hold Fisher-Price responsible for this one?? Next people are going to be asking Fruit of the Loom to recall their bikini panties for not properly warning people to wash their asses before wearing the undies.

Side note: We used a Rock N' Play, which a friend of mine bought me, with PCT2. It was ah-maz-ing at putting her to sleep. Nearly every picture I posted on Facebook for the first three months of her life is in that sleeper. And ya know what? I cleaned that thing frequently. No mold. Gave it to a friend, who has been using it with her baby. Everything is a-ok on that front too. It's amazing what happens (or rather doesn't) when people take care of their things.