And This Is Why Old Wives’ Tales Are Stupid

Every pregnant woman has experienced it. Before you find out your baby’s gender (or before you give birth if you opt, as I did, to not find out your baby’s gender), nearly every person with whom you have contact will try to guess whether you’re having a boy or a girl. Some people just go on vibes and gut feelings. Some guess based on the genders of your other children, if any. But many, if not most, revert to old wives’ tales. 
Using old wives’ tales to guess gender can be fun, no doubt. But just like Inelligender, take it with a grain of salt. There is a 50/50 chance of them being right–the same odds as if you flip a coin. I have no problem with people having fun with a good guess. But the people who take these things seriously and insist on their correctness… yeah, those people made me stabby when I was pregnant. And for all those people, here’s my nah-nah-ne-boo-boo to you–My handy dandy chart of how the old wives’ tales meant nothing when it came to Pop Culture Preschooler and Pop Culture Baby:
Old Wives’ Tale
Pop Culture Preschooler
Pop Culture Baby
Carrying: High (girl) vs Low (boy) High Low
Can you tell mom is pregnant from the back? (yes = girl) YES No
Girls steal mom’s beauty Definitely. I was fug. Looking better than ever
Acne? Tons. What is this–high school?? My skin has never been more clear
Breast growth? Up two cup sizes in the first trimester (yes!!) Stayed practically the same until birth (boo)
Cravings? Salty and tart for boys. Sugary for girls ground beef, chili, pineapple, lemons, ice cream, cake pineapple, lemons, donuts, crawfish
Heart rate (>140 = girl) 130s 150s
Morning Sickness? (girls make you sick) None Tons… for nearly 20 weeks
Ring Swing: back and forth, girl. Circle, boy circle back and forth
Intelligender result N/A boy

I have two girls.
Regardless of what the old wives’ tales say each aspect should mean, the bottom line is my pregnancies couldn’t have been more different (except, you know, lemons and pineapples; but I crave those even not pregnant). It doesn’t end here. Name one aspect of pregnancy, I can tell you how nothing was the same from my first pregnancy to the second. The bottom line is, the old wives’ tales mean nothing. There is no magic formula that’s going to tell you what gender your baby is. The closest you can get to accuracy is an ultrasound, and, well, even those mess up sometimes. Sorry, ladies.

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